1. The Beach- One of my favorite things to do is drive six hours (minimum) to a beach so that I can swim in disgusting water, dry off in sand, and sit in the blazing hot sun, while a clean swimming pool is not being used back home.

2. SpongeBob SquarePants- This used to be one of my favorite shows, but then I turned seven.

3. Sheetz- I used to think Sheetz was the greatest thing on Earth, but then it hit me that taking out a second mortgage on my house to afford food prepared in a gas station was a bad idea.

4. “Jordans”- Buying a pair of a Jordans has always seemed like a great idea. I mean, who doesn’t love spending upwards of $200 on a pair of average looking and elaborately colored shoes that cost 25 cents to make and, more often than not, match maybe two outfits you own?

5. Fireworks- I don’t know what it is, but fireworks have just never done it for me. So many people love seeing fireworks on the 4^th of July, and it’s mind blowing how many of them base their holidays around things blowing up in the sky.

6. The Mona Lisa- Oh cool, a really old and unimpressive painting of an incredibly mediocre-looking woman.

7. Steak- I thoroughly enjoy waiting an hour at most steakhouses to pay more than $20 for a nine-ounce steak that doesn’t come close to filling me up.

8. Country music- Loud, annoying tailgates that are attended by people who think that just because they own one Tim McGraw album, it’s appropriate to fly Confederate flags out of the backs of their pick-up trucks.

9. Elf- Will Ferrell is a great comedian, but this movie doesn’t even come close to touching his top five. The amount of times it’s aired on television during the holiday season is absurd, and the movie itself is pretty average.

10. Christmas music- I kind of enjoy listening to Christmas music the week leading up to the holiday, but not before Thanksgiving. It’s the same music every single year on repeat, and with the exception of “Winter Wonderland” and “Feliz Navidad,” it’s all below par.

11. Nirvana- Sure, they had a couple decent songs, but the fact that people listen to this band religiously and refer to them as one of the best bands of all time is ridiculous.

12. Camouflage- I guess people need to hide from the deer that they encounter in the hallway in their everyday lives.