Dealing with Loss During Quarantine
May 27, 2020
For those of us dealing with a loss during this incredibly trying time, I truly offer my condolences. As someone who has lost a loved one to COVID-19, I know firsthand that as hard as it is to say goodbye to someone, it is even harder watching them leave but never getting to say goodbye.
As hospitals, nursing homes, etc. become ridden with corona, it has become even more difficult to see those who are there. When a family member is so close to death, it isn’t easy knowing you won’t be allowed to hold their hand, or even sit in the same room as them. Sending letters and relaying messages cannot offer nearly the same reliability as being present in a moment, a last moment, that can never be revived. The hard part isn’t knowing you will never see them again, it is knowing they had to leave with no one but doctors or nurses to comfort them, and watching others who never had their chance to be there for the last breath.
We are no strangers to death. The same way you wished your loved one could leave is the same way you will heal from their passing: with the people whose presence is the most valuable. Confide in those who have had to feel the same way. Go through your loss together. Remember and celebrate your loved one’s life with the people who knew it best. Cry with them, laugh with them, remember with them, grow with them. It is what the one you have lost would have wanted. Be present in every moment for them. Do it in memory of those who never had their last chance to be there.